All this time, I thought that I was the only person on earth wearing diapers who was not incontinent.
First of all I must begin by stating that I was brought up by two loving parents, who still love me and who I still love dearly. From my childhood and thru my early teens I would sometimes have accidents and wet my pants in public, school, family get togethers, etc.. Most of the time, I was too busy having fun to worry about going to the bathroom. Then as luck would have it, something funny would happen and I would laugh to the point of wetting my pants. Once at the age of four, I remember that I wet my pants at home and in shame was crouched by the floor heater, hoping that they would dry before I was discovered.
This was not the first time I had an accident and my parents had threatened many times to put me in diapers if these accidents continued. I guess enough was enough and that night my father picked me up, carried me to my room, laid me down on the bed, and held me there while my mother pulled off my pants and diapered me. I must have seen her diaper my younger sister a hundred thousand times but this time it was me and there was no tenderness, no cuddling, no powder, no "what a cute baby boy you are". Just a lot of humiliation and a feeling of disappointing my parents. That was the first and last time my parents put a diaper on me.
I remember waking up at night telling my parents that I had to go the bathroom and there reply was "Do it in your diaper." Well being a pants wetter and not liking that feeling, I didn't quite want to compare it to a wet diaper, anyway I had a skin rash from so many accidents that deep down in my little four year old mind, I knew that if I wet my diaper, my rash would get worse. So after alot of crying and fussing, my father calmly took me to the bathroom and maneuvered my penis from the side of the diaper and allowed me to urinate in the toilet. He the tucked me back into bed and I finally fell asleep, still in my diaper. I don't remember the following morning, I don't remember if I woke up wet or I woke up dry. I don't even remember if I had to wear the diaper the next morning or not. This whole evening was a blackout to me until a year or so ago when I could remember bits and pieces of it.
Later at the age of 10 or so I found some diapers that my mom was saving for cleaning rags in a closet and stole a few. I pinched some large safety pins from her sewing kit and snagged some plastic pants from my sister's doll cloths collection. The plastic plants didn't last too long as I was to large for them. But I sure loved the way those diapers felt on me and since I was such a skinny kid and most of my clothes floated on me, no one could tell that I was wearing them.
Once my baby cousin was staying with us and I managed to steal a real pair of vinyl pants. I must have been to big for them and they only lasted a few weeks. We visited a friend of my parents who adopted a little girl and sure enough there I was again, stealing her rubber pants. Now this was kind of hard because I always had my kid sister tagging along with me and I had to think of different ways to sneak away and pull off my caper. I discovered that the easiest way to do this was to play hide and seek.
When I was about 13 or 14, we were at my cousins, playing hide and seek and in the family room was the changing table for my young cousin still in diapers. That was the safe base or what ever you're supposed to tag when you come running from your hiding place screaming "FRRRREEEEEEEE!!!!!". And there they were... a whole pile of freshly folded diapers, just waiting for the taking... and I was it! I took a couple of diapers, stuffed them under my shirt and calmly walked to the bathroom. Once in the bathroom, I closed and locked the door, undid my pants and was just fitting the diapers neatly in my shorts so not to bulge too much and there from behind the shower curtain I saw the form my sister in hiding. She must have thought that I was going to the bathroom and was she ever in the wrong hiding place. All I could do is quickly pull up my pants, flush the toilet, and walk out of the bathroom as if she wasn't there.
That was a close call. The only other close call I ever had was when I was a bit younger, I tried to turn on my sister to the great feeling of a diaper between your legs. I gave her a diaper and told her to go to the bathroom, lock the door and to put it between her and her panties. As luck would have it, my mom walked in on her during fitting. I told her she should have locked the door. My mom sent me to my room and took my sister to her room and properly diapered her. She called me out of my room and showed me my sister in her diaper and asked me if that was what I wanted to see. All I could think was that I just lost a perfectly good pair of diapers... and they were Curity too.
I eventually stopped having accidents just about the age of 16 or 17 but I never stopped wearing diapers.
There was a message on one of the transcript or files that I read which stated that I could find out more about this subject in the Human Sexuality Forum HSX 200.
I rarely enter any forums because of the extra expenses on top of my flat monthly rate. When I used to sell computers, I would get on the IBM or Novell Support Forums and bring up my charges considerably.
Upon entering this Human Sexuality forum, I was greeted with hugs by many messages describing this section and the many forums inside it and then something else caught my eye...
It was section 7, entirely devoted to Adult Babies. It's description read "Restricted to infantilist." and as I ask permission to enter that section as well as state that I would agree to the privacy of the forum, something went off in the back of my mind... "Is that what I am?" I always though of myself as just a guy who likes to sleep in diar if I had to wear the diaper the next morning or not. This whole evening was a blackout to me until a year or so ago when I could remember bits and pieces of it.
Later at the age of 10 or so I found some diapers that my mom was saving f sleeping in diapers. Some people wear disposables, some wear cloth, some part-time, some full-time. I, being a product if the 50's wear cloth but have spent many a night in Pampers, Luvs and Huggies. Some prefer Depends to Attends (It's still embarrassing for me to buy them - but that's a whole other chapter) others Pampers to Luvs. Some change their own diapers (as I do), while others are changed my a wife or "mommy" type person (my biggest fantasy). The subject of plastic pants is a whole issue in itself and there are a variety of styles and colors to chose from. Plus, I discovered that there is even a fellowship of Adult Babies called DPF -the Diaper Pail Friends.
I actually got on to the forum and corresponded to someone else in diapers and for the first time in my life, I told someone else "I wear diapers". He was understanding, and shared his own experiences with me which very much compares to bits and pieces of my childhood experiences. Still, the thought of two grown men in diapers communicating to each other across the country via computers is fascinating. Throughout the years, my biggest complaint was that the Gerber toddler size vinyl pants I was using never seemed to last and were too tight around my legs. He told me that I could probably find an adult size in a hospital supply store, which I did. Wow what a difference! No more worrying about leaks, too.
I am not only blown away by this experience but have come to an understanding that this is an issue in my life that over so many years of silence and hiding, finally bears investigation and the time has come for me to accept the fact that I am an Adult Baby and to have some fun with it as I learn more about myself, diapers and the others like me.
I hope you accept me as I do you and hope to hear from you as we continue in our journey.
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